Dinosaurus
by Deception Alchemist
Summary: In which Hibari discusses dinosaurs with Dino over a lunch of dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.


Hibari was sitting on the roof of his beloved Namimori Middle School. He was resting a little for lunch after a busy morning of running after and biting to death troublesome, rule-breaking herbivores. A bento was in his hand, and his other hand held chopsticks that was already halfway to his mouth when he heard _that_ voice.

"Kyouya-chan!"

Hibari's eyes narrowed subconsciously as he had heard that every-annoying voice of that ever-annoying man. He ground his teeth and ferociously chewed on his food.

"Kyou-chan? Are you there?"

Dino stuck his head through the door to the roof. "Kyouya! I knew you'd be in here. I brought you some lun-! Whaaa-oomf!"

Dino had somehow managed to do the impossible and tripped over the _flat ground_ and land right on his face. The bag that held the lunches Dino brought went flying and Hibari dodged them with ease as they came hurtling toward him. Hibari gave himself a satisfied smile when he saw the bag fly over the fence and tumble to the ground several stories below with a low _clunk_.

Dino chuckled nervously as he picked himself up and rubbed at the mark that was growing steadily redder on his cheek. "Oops."

Hibari closed his eyes and said, with a hint of a threat, "Go away then, if you don't have anything important to say."

"Wel... since I don't have a lunch anymore, can I share your lunch?"

"If you continue to disturb the peace, I'll bite you to death."

Dino pouted but, to Hibari's ire, silently took a seat next to Hibari. He wasn't quiet for long. Glancing around, looking for some way to fill in the silence, he noticed what Hibari had in his chopsticks. Dino chuckled and commented, "It's so weird to see you eating non-Japanese food. Chicken nuggets?"

Hibari smiled. It was a smile that signaled danger to everyone in the vicinity. Dino didn't notice. "These, herbivore, are dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets."

Dino blinked and subconsciously scooted a little away. He furrowed his brow and asked hesitantly, "...D-d-dinosaur?"

"Mm-hmm, would you like one?" Hibari held it out in front of Dino's face. Dino did _not_ like that predatory smile that danced on Hibari's lips.

"W-w-well, that'd be like cannibalism, wouldn't it? And no one likes a cannibal..." Dino whimpered out. Dino wildly searched for a topic change. "S-so, uh, how're your classes going?"

Dino thought about it for a second and continued with a, "...do you even take classes here?" when he realized that he had never actually seen Hibari in a classroom before, despite the fact that he visited often, and usually during school hours.

"Of course I do." Hibari regarded Dino coldly, as if it was impossible to fathom the former missing class, "I'll tell you what I learned today in science."

Hibari waved his right hand, which was holding the chopsticks. "This is a Apatosaurus, or more commonly called, Brontosaurus. It is an herbivorous, _weak_ dinosaur."

"Oh, really," Dino said meekly. He didn't know where Hibari was heading with this, but was sure that he would not like it.

Hibari continued. "They were so fat that they had to make their tail act as a counterweight. It resembles a bullwhip."

"Oh," Dino brightened. "That's jus-"

He was cut off by Hibari.

"It makes a sound as loud as a cannon when it was snapped. It was probably very annoying too. It's a shame that it kept hitting itself with its tail."

"Um, are you implying something...?"

"Now, this picture of a brontosaurus," Hibari went on as if Dino never uttered a sound. He twisted his hand to allow Dino to see all sides of the nugget. "is false. Their heads are too big and too full of hot air and idiocy that their necks can't support it."

"Now that's just mean."

"When a brontosaurus is alert, the highest it lifted its head was probably vertical, most of the time, it kept it low, at about a 45 degree angle. Isn't it a shame that despite that, it keeps tripping over itself? I suppose that some of these dinosaurs must have tried to lift their heads higher than that and lost a few braincells in the process."

"...you're cruel."

"Now, if you considered all those things and the fact that it is extinct, wouldn't you agree that this dinosaur is a just weak herbivore?"

"Well, I mean, I wouldn't rea-"

"Herbivores deserve to be bitten to death."

And with that, Hibari beheaded the dinosaur with his teeth.

Dino whimpered and slapped his hands to his face, to cover his eyes from this terrifying scene.

He felt them water as he heard the chopsticks clatter into the empty bento box, although that might've just been him accidentally prodding himself in the eyes.

His poor, poor kinsman.

And then something struck Dino.

"...Did you just call me fat?"

* * *

Just warning, but Hibari lies a lot. Go find out the true stuff at wiki. Or at least as true wiki can be...The only reason I picked Brontosaurus was because it was the only dinosuar I knew they made into chicken nuggets xD


End file.
